I'm turning 30 this year. Actually in about 5 days. It's been one of those things that I'm not dreading but I'm not excited about. It's kind of like a family reunion. It poses the possibility to actually be fun. You know, seeing people that you haven't seen in years, talking about old times or just catching up, but when it actually gets here, you think "why this weekend?"
That's where I'm at. I've been wondering why I am not looking forward to my 30's. I'm not opposed to getting older. I've even heard that 30+ is actually the time when life gets really interesting.
I think I've figured it out. I'm upset that more didn't come from my 20's. My 20's were hard for me. I had trouble figuring things out: who I was, what I was about, what I wanted, where I was going, etc...
I also remember very clearly what I went through, how I felt and what I didn't understand. Frankly, I still haven't figured it out.
I look at my 20's and think that nothing was significant. Nothing was worth what I went through. I don't want the last decade of my life to lack significance and I feel like it did. It didn't "do, change, reveal" anything valuable to this world.
I just remember that it was hard. I remember feeling those times of depression, hopelessness, and struggle and wish I could go through it again and change the way I felt.
I don't want to remember my 20's like that and right now, that's how I remember them.
I'm optimistic about my 30's but I can't help but think that I will never get my 20's back. I think that is why I'm dreading my 30's. I just wish I could do something over that I'm certain I would change.
"Be of good courage and He will strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the Lord."
Psalm 31:24
Psalm 31:24
I like...
- Random Facts/Knowledge
- The Rain
- Walks to Clear the Brain
- A Good Book
- Nevada Athletics
- Arizona State Baseball
- In & Out Burger
- Running
- My Bikes (mountain & road)
TV/Movie Fave's
- Bourne Trilogy
- Ladder 49
- The Guardian
- Dumb & Dumber
- Good Will Hunting
- NCIS
- 24
- West Wing
- Big Bang Theory
Some good readin'
- Monday Morning Church - Jerry Cook
- Blue Like Jazz - Donald Miller
- Brad Thor Novels
- John Grisham Novels
- Vince Flynn Novels
- Joel Rosenburg Novels
10 comments:
i remember feeling a similar kind of thing when i turned 30. there's a certain amount of time to refelct and regret when you hit certain landmarks. rest assured that absolutely nothing significant changes so it's really just an arbitrary day that has false significance thrust upon it.
that made me feel better for some reason.
Good to know.
Speaking as a 49-year-old I basically loved my 30's . . . Way more than my 20's . . .
Part of it was that I was still "young" yet had some life experience behind me that enabled me to more thoroughly enjoy what I was doing . . .
Of course I made some major mistakes, but that is a different story and you are a far wiser/mature person than I was at your age . . .
Enjoy!!
Good to know. Thanks Tim.
you could just chant this from one of my all time favorite movies, "thirty and flirty and thriving, thirty and flirty and thriving" but then we all might get a little concerned about you being that it comes from a major chic flick.
happy birthday matty. you will enjoy your 30's and looking back is never good to dwell on, ya know.
Sometimes a little bit more time (perspective) is necessary to see the goods & bads from different periods in our lives.
It may be that some of the things that you now see as being hard & not worth it, are actually things that in a few years will be revealed as part of a bigger process... a process that has been a part of the journey, & where you see God's hand of redemption as well.
Happy birthday Matt. You're a good man.
I look back and feel that some of the things I went through, though very difficult, have made me a better person. I do realize that certain things are a part of the bigger process but for some reason I still feel down about a lot of my 20's just because through those hard times, I either didn't accomplish what I would have liked to or was timid in doing so.
see matty, that's what i mean too much dwelling not good!! only reason i know is because i am a dweller too but not in the good way. it's good for a bit but then if it's bringing you down not so much cause there isn't anything you can do about it now.
i hear ya though, there are so many many things i wish i would have done in my 20's that i didn't one of them being finishing school but see, no point in dwelling on that now. plus had i chose that route who knows how different life would look like now.
i have found that i had to make peace with the choices that i made in the past and then move on quickly to the present moment otherwise it can lead to depression.
Thanks guys. I'm definately not depressed about this. These are just some thoughts. I'm actually opitimistic and enjoying life to come.
Hope you had a great birthday. Welcome to the 30's. They're awesome!
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