Renewal?

Today, Louie mentioned that one of the topics in the early morning class that we would be discussing is tough topics. I started writing in my journal what difficult topics I felt I faced. Here are some of them that came to my mind... renewal of the mind, marriage vs. single status, ability to overcome tough stuff, crying out to Jesus, etc... What does it mean, how do I do it? They were just off the top of my head.

Renewal, however, is tough for me. It's funny that I'm writing about this because it's something I've been pondering over the last few days/weeks. Romans 12:2 says, "Do not conform to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is good, acceptable and the perfect will of God."

I understand renewal. At least the definition. What is difficult for me to grasp is the walking in and through the whole renewal process. I get it. I really do but what is baffling to me is when I don't see any proof of renewal in myself. There are things that I feel really disturb me. Even to the point of causing anxiety. I can honestly say that I have prayed and sought renewal in my mind for years. I really can say I've pursued that.

When I think renewal, I think cleaned up, cleansed, made pure, etc... My thought is that things may quit bothering me, I won't think them any more, I will be healed from hurt. But in my experience, I feel that on certain topics in my life, I've prayed, been prayed for, asked forgiveness, quit possible destructive habits and quit exposing myself to certain things and still, there is no renewal, no clean-up.

At what point does renewal come? I know God is faithful. Am I looking for something different than renewal? I understand that renewal is a process.

I hear a lot of songs from bands that I really respect like David Crowder, Third Day, and more, say in their lyrics to "Cry out to Jesus" or Jesus is the "Remedy." We tell all these non-christians that God will come through and rapidly change their lives but what about the existing Christ followers that feel like they can't even be renewed? How do I explain that to the non-christian when I struggle understanding and walking in renewal myself?